the one who fix my heart but she break it back.

its the time for me. something freaky get over around my head. hurm. 15 november 2010. still remember how she took my heart away. i guess thats the greatest thing i couldnt even forget it.

freaking love make me broken.

 LIYANA FAREZA.
i dont know what should i say here. i already know you wouldnt even read this. i really hope, 1 day there will be a time for me to be happy back, with you. sometimes i slowly blow our memories away. but, ahh. its never be easy ! and i really hate it. i love you so much dear. it is even more than words can say. what should i do b ? after all what you have done to me, after all the shit i have been through, i still cant remove my love on you. its sticky. hurm.
yeah,
its surely my biggest fault. i make my heart broken by accepting people easily. i'm sorry.

yana,
i still remember what you've told me.
"iloveyoubaby''
ahh, it makes me melt.
then you said.
"d. ingat ni. saya sanggup berubah untuk awak. saya janji."
i said,
"d tggu"
and you reply,
"b akan buktikan :D"

hurm.
after few weeks couple, we broke up. i remember, how you made me cry at the midnight where i standing alone without no one by my side. tomorrow, i sent you messages and also a video clip of your pics with sound clip by dadali, di saat aku mencintaimu. you said to me.
"you ni tapaham eh? i taknak you da. byk lg hati i nak kena jage."
then i said:
"okay im sorry, jagalah hati org lain. yea mybe 1 day you akan dapat org yg better dr i. tp tkkan sama mcm i."
you reply:
"you nak buat i rse bsalah ke?"
start from that, i just keeping silence. yana, i waited for you. i dont care whatt may happen soon. i will wait for you.

few days passed. you send a message of dadali's song lyrics. honestly, im shocked to see your name below the lyric. that time, i was going to stand for my spm paper. i really happy when you said, " i love youu :("
you said that you want to meet me at your house on friday, 03 dec 2010. i said, for what ? you just told me that you want to meet me. okay, i admit it. i be out of my hostel to meet you. i went to ampang alone. taking cab. and just find your house. it quite difficult as i have to walk walk and walk along the road. its hot just like the sun melting me. ahh. you sent me a smiley. fine, i went to your house. came to your room. fuh, very glad to see your face. you dont know how much i miss you.. another moment, you make me shocked when you want to have a relationship back with me. you kissed me and i hug you tightly. that time, what i felt is. liyana, i dont wanna lose you.

days and days passed.

you and me were there .

i was very happy. thursday, i hang out with you. meet at wangsa maju, to klcc. then, walked together to pavi. when you're having your lunch, i took your phone. huh, its the moment of my anger out. haih. be patient nick. that is what i said. thenn, we move to ts. there, i met your brother. he talked about where have you stayed when you're not at home. yana i guess you still remember how down i was, just to know it. it made me fooled out of myself. i dont even know about it.
there,
you said.
"nick, bnde tu da lepas kan. i couple blek dgn you sbb i sayangkan you. i tak main mainkan you."
hurm. idk what to say then. its good to just got to hug you in the seconds. aftter that, i sent you to ampang lrt station. its the sweetest memory. hm. from ts to lrt station. and also that pics. always remind me of you. somehow i was making faults. that show how stupid i was. to let my heart break again.





15dec.
i called you, to wish our first month anniversary. yeah, im happy. i really do. i made a card for you. but, ah. it is never be valuable. you dont know how it meant to me. hm. day passed. i felt like you dont care about me. after i finished my ed paper, i called you. you talked like just making me someone weird for you. its okay. i just shut up. i said i will on line my fb at night. you're just like hiding something. then you asked me to take a look of your fb. hm. on my way home. someone text me, asked about us. i said, we're okay. then she told me. you have changed your status to single. AGAIN. that time, only god know, how i felt. huhh. when i online, i saw everything. and it's HELL ! its another moment i felt lost and down.

i month i love youu.

hurm.
i may not be the best that you want me to. but i hope you will always remember,
"what i give you is the best of what i have and what i am to you is the best that i can only be."
you should know something,
"i never stopped loving you. i just stopped showing it."
but, i always thind, and have a long thinking.
"trust is like a paper. once it is crumpled, it cant never return to its original shape again."

guys.
love is just like a glass. if you break it, it will never can be fixed back.
so even you have took my heart,
you manage but you break it.
it will never be me again.

urm.
i guess i should take all my things back. i know you never need it. one thing.
i'm still waiting. but i dont want this liyana fareza. i want liyanafareza who has gave me the promises. and i still hold it tightly. i love you so freaking much. more than anything can sayy. but, ahh. you are not mine. never be mine.

 

suck sycho .