it comes into my mind
what should I do ?
I'm super pretender
yes I am
Mom,
I really need you :'(
I'm sorry
since the past some years,
I become little much different
You dont know what I felt
Its very hard for me
to feel
and
live my own life alone
It might be very worst
because no one with me
Mom, you know what ?
I live much with tears now,
you dont know how badly I desire
to keep all those things alone
I know if you know this,
you might not let me cry alone
You will cry at the back
like what I saw before
Yes I really need a shoulder to cry on
I need someone to rely on
to be with me
whether in happiness or sadness
who is always there whenever it is
it is very hopefully from me
I dont know what the hell of pain that I feel
but it is damn HURT !
Since past years ago,
I live my life
by
being an actor.
As I go through all kinds of feelings and experiences in my journey through life
delight, surprise, chagrin, dismay
I hold this question as a guiding light:
"What do I really need right now to be happy?"
What I come to over and over again is that only qualities as vast and deep as love, connection and kindness will really make me happy in any sort of enduring way.
This is myself
I keep those feelings inside
until when it used to be :)
FAMILY
I dont know whether I put too much hopes on all of you
or
it is kind of big lies
Penat lahh nak hidup macam ni !
Kenapa susah sangat nak faham adik ?
Kayy
orang tahu orang mmg menyusahkan semua
tapi
tolong
jangan tuduh orang macam macam
jangan mengungkit boleh tak ?
Abang, kakak..
Tahu tak ?
Adik menangis sorang sorang nak hadap semua ni
korang cakap macam tu hari tu,
adik simpan sampai bilabila k.
pernah tak korang amek tahu apa adik rasa ?
tak pernah sekali pun !
adik senyap je
sebab rasa hormat tu tinggi lagi
tapi,
semua tu sakit tahu tak ? :'(
Bila adik dah takde,
baru nak cari
buat apa ?
nak sakitkan hati adik lagi ?
nak buat adik menangis lagi ?
ye
memang kakak dgn abang tak nampak adik menangis
adik terus diam
if ada pape,
even bukan salah adik
even adik sakit
even semua cakap sesuka hati
adik boleh senyum lagi
tapi tahu tak kat dalam ni sakit ?
sakit sangat sangat !
Memang adik saja lari dari rumah hari tu
kalau takde adik pun,
lagi bagus kan ?
Depan korang,
adik senyum
belakang ?
Tuhan je tahu :')
kakak tanya kenapa adik diam hari tu kan ?
Kayy,
sebab airmata mengalir tak henti henti
adik takan lawan apa korang cakap
even ada yang adik tak buat,
tapi korang salah faham
korang lepaskan marah dekat adik,
kayy takpe.
asalkan korang happy,
apa kisah ?
Kan ? :')
Ni salah satu sebab
kenapa adik berubah
tp
kenyataannya
orang lain lebih memahami
dari keluarga sendiri.
Kayy
I made that decision
to be ready with anything that may comes
whether its hurt or not
I take her to my own life
because
I guess she can makes me happy
all the way
and
I love her
Some decisions
that
I've agreed
You can do whatever you want
as you are happy with it
Love me just the way I am
accept me the way I act
I will always respect
and
I will never broke it,
just because I love YOU .
_________________________________________
kenyataan nya
orang terlalu sayangkan awak :')
I love you like how you loved your ex boyfriend :)
I don't think I get to good writing unless I expose myself and my feelings.
Deep songs don't come from the surface;
they come from the deep down.
The poetry and the songs that I am suppose to write,
Pretend is better than fact, right ? :')
Goodbye Facebookers and Bloggers.
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